Friday, July 21, 2006

With some embarassment, I realize that I have never posted a link on this site about its javascript innards, even though one of the two primary reasons I created this site was to showcase my competency. Thus, I humbly submit for your reading pleasure, the Heart of Nothing Spoken, formatted in color syntax. It gives you a taste of what a template system can do with an excellent yet neutered programming language. (Also available here in post-processed form.)

I'll be altering the topmost link so that it links to the archive rather than to my profile - I may have a better place for the profile link, anyway. Now as for that menu of buttons that don't look like buttons, well ... I'll have to tweak them just a bit, too. All this, of course will be done after I am finished with the last of my coursework ... which will be in less than two weeks!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Y'know, I just saw that American Idol winner on a car commercial, singing "I get what I want, I go where I please, and that works for me; possibilities!" And I admit, the song was fun and high-energy, but I just thought, "How could he be so obtuse as to sing that crap?" He should fire his agent or the car company should fire the employee who decided those lyrics would be great marketing.

Pardon: I've just seen enough earth & society videos to brainwash a consciencious objector into the green party's devoted hitman; enough to turn an athiest into Gaea's preaching zealot.

Save your cash, use it for funding research projects, green-science, and charities. Will someone finally start forcing people to vote in elections before they're allowed to vote in talent competitions?!

By the way, debt is how the new economy takes your individual power away from you.

Basically, the idea is that you get provided with opportunities to spend your money; but you don't have enough, so banks and credit companies use the money they stole from the poor to fund your outrageous lifestyle, at which point you become one of their indetured servants, but since you don't want to become one, you buy more - and that chain does stop somewhere; two places in fact: third world economies and the world's ecosystems. For the sake of all purity, these aren't new! They were known as repression, indentured servitude, classism, slavery, overtaxation, over-industrialization, pollution, and they've been around for millenia! They're as old and dumb as dirt. People say they're better than everything else, but that's because almost everything else sucked, and a bunch of idiots convinced us that ideas of more fluidity that allowed both individual and society to thrive as equally separable and unseperable beings weren't possible. They're possible. For the love of God, even this whole universe is based on that duality; particles and waves. Can't have one without the other.

Despite the atrocities inherited from the Romans, the Catholic Church had one thing right: loan sharks and high-interest rates are damnable sins. And so is the legal equivalent; attack by frivolous lawsuits, which amount to the same thing by taking away power and creating indentured servants for the banks who help pay for it.

Doesn't it make you wonder? Of the world's greatest powers, pharmacy companies, 1st-world banks, credit companies, oil companies, cellular comanies, why is it we don't see more research into real earth-friendly technologies? It's true there are many, many wonderful new Earth-friendly technologies on the horizon; but there can be much more. Is there anyone working on modifications of the Star Wars project that would prevent a nuclear bomb from going off? neutralizing a bomb vs blowing up off-target are two very different things. Or how about self-powering ways of sucking up pollutants in water and air? They exist. They can be deployed, and should.

And you know, with the power that mathematics as a science wields, why is it that the fast food companies, each of which make enough food to feed the entire world daily, don't utilize simple time-based probability statistics to save food that will most likely not get eaten, re-freeze it, and ship it off to a third-world country for free distribution?! There are a lot more ideas and ways of solving the world's problems all right under our noses on a daily basis that we hardly see. Open your eyes.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Minibosses, Minibosses, MINIBOSSES!
Fuck yeah!

The only real downside was the three hour wait, even though the newlyweds bailed out on us without saying a word, but their combined sleep schedule's so topsy-turvey, I think they were TKO for the night, so it's all good. We waited three freakin' hours before Minibosses came on: we had to agonize through three horrid bands ... well, the men in white were fun, but that sound guy (who was incredibly good with the soundboard otherwise) forgot to take off his ****ing earplugs (we should have brought some, too! You could hear everyone playing from inside a car a BLOCK away!) and blasted us all out with the FUCKING high-pitched gain-distorted guitar sounds! That really fucking hurt! It was so bad that we spent most of the time sitting out in the lobby talking with some friends from the U - I ran into another Computer Science alum, and Mike and I met up with some media arts majors and grads that we've run into so many times in the past it's ridiculous, so we six just held a section of the lobby and a small portion of the front in the over-21 area the rest of the night :-D - it turns out they're running a vg talk show over at, and their trailer looked pretty damn slick!(They brought their trailer with them) So Minibosses finally got on stage at midnight, and brought the heart & soul with 'em! They kicked ASS! We were going to get 'em to sign the CD, but by 1:20am, they were finishing up, and all the other bands were getting back onstage for a 4-group collaboration, at which point both Mike and I were so tired and have things to do today since it's early morning now! It was time for us to exit stage-left and beat the crowd! So we did, beating the rush, and slamming home at 1:35am or so ... Club Congress is on the far west side, and I live on the far east side of town -- and Mike got home crazy fast, too! It was really weird ... the fact that I"m typing all this and it's only 1:50am! So good night to ya all, and rock out! Peace!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

I got an A! One more makes pocket aces to finish the degree!
Imagine me whistling the tune of "If I only had a brain" ...
If you don't want to know, don't read it. ;-)
No encompassing flame of media attention is without its fuel, much less gallons of it, and without protecting ourselves from falsehoods and staying educated on all perspectives, some of us might doom ourselves to believing all that we are told even after new information arrives. So, props to you who are the naysayers that shout when the emperor walks out of the palace stark naked, fooled by two greedy men - But on to addressing the belief that ADHD does not exist, maybe it's only the questionable diagnoses that we should investigate, rather than the overgeneralizations we've been reading about that falsely claim without so much as batting an eyelash that there is no physical evidence of ADHD.
The first problem is of research; a lot of new and valid information isn't propogating to all important parties(those in power) as fast as we would expect; The cause must be investigated, because the new level of connectivity provided by technological advances should be assisting this endeavor tenfold, but in this case and many others (at least in reading the news about how political parties stand on pertinent issues), there is a lot of evidence that state otherwise. (warning, because I'm giving my opinion, I'm not concerned about stating my references. However, if asked, I will do so. It's just a bitch to go backtracking, otherwise this would be a rather nice and completely evidenced essay ... *sigh*)
The second problem: there is substantial evidence for which we can verify ADHD in some individuals, but we have not yet found substantial physical evidence for ALL those afflicted, and that's where the real issue appears. We can say there isn't any complete reliable evidence because reliable evidence only exists for a few of us, rather than all. The most common measurable effect used in the past was that many individuals diagnosed with ADD/ADHD have statistically much higher amounts of alpha and theta waves detected from their brain - meaning they're in a state of continually falling asleep. The other, more recently-discovered physical trait in these few is a slightly smaller brain size(yeah, that really sucks, doesn't it? We'll see less people flock to ADHD as a cultural identifier now, hopefully! I don't like the idea of statistically smaller brain size as a group identifier anymore than the next sane individual!) But it's also just a statistic; many individuals were studied who also have larger brains, but the overall trend is a significant difference in size - I don't even know if this is true for me! I can only go by my test results, my handwriting, my scores at games, my memory, and the health of my relationships with friends and family) which may often be underdeveloped or even show less activity than the average in some sections and more activity in others. Heck; for many it would have to deal with a simple imbalance of neurotransmitters rather than underdevelopment! It's all well and good to wonder about those without substantial proof of some form, but don't throw the baby with the bathwater by disregarding these individuals who benefit to the point of AT LEAST meeting normal development standards, much less those of us who can exceed them by use of ritalin and adderall (and still fail to meet them otherwise) - which many related studies DO report enhancement of brain development, especially in those of us with our 'smaller brains'. Furthermore, this result is backed up by other studies have shown that these medicines also (frighteningly enough) produce tiny and BENIGN growths (as opposed to large and/or malignant ones) all throughout the body over time: you'd have to expect such things to happen for anything that directly causes GROWTH in an organ! Why? Regardless of whether or not it's 'enhanced development', when you take a medicine that affects so much of the body as for instance the entire freakin' nervous system, if you see 'growth' in one area, you should expect to find growth somewhere else, too!! And since these tiny benign growths have been shown to be benign, and won't ever become visible to the naked eye, I prefer being a productive member of society, thank you. This isn't about me wanting to drug myself up! I hate taking the medication! I really f*cking hate it! But in comparison, the stupid things I've done without it is like being half-drunk most of the time, without even the luxury of drinking first! A little difference goes a long way for those of us who need it! But this is heresay for every individual who reads it until they(you) look it up for themselves(yourself)! So go look it up! Read the studies! Don't look for the articles! Look at the science and research publications directly! Don't worry that you may not have read them before. Just read them now! You'll get used to the jargon quickly, and get used to what is advertised bullshit (aka many non-academic-based research or heretofor unknown academic campuses) and what isn't. (And that's always a good skill to practice.) In other words, don't believe the hype of someone who hasn't actually read/done significant research (i.e. - more than the news, and more than the anecdotal evidence of one person vs thousands, as in some large research studies.) ADHD is now the unspoken banner for labeling hypochondriacs and psychosomatics rather than for what it was originally intended, which was bad enough; a catch-all for combinations of real learning disabilities that have real definitions aside from the term ADHD! When will people get their vocabulary right and talk about the real issues rather than finding scapegoats and incomplete information? We move ever closer, now that people see there's a lot more than two extremes to choose from ... But I will say this: After trying long-acting Adderall and Concerta (long-acting Ritalin), neither long-acting form does a darn bit of good for me.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

One class down, one to go. "I ar teh winarr!"

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Night of a Million Zillion Z's

Ye gods, I am tired ... five days ago, insomnia kicked into high gear, and I went three days without sleep, the third day I spent with a friend who has the graveyard shift as a community support officer, looking for suspicious activity on a few PCC college campuses. we basically ran around checking doors, looking for people, calling in suspicious vehicles. We did this, driving from campus to campus listening to music and grabbing food on the way until it was about five or six in the morning. So after spending a night doing something a little bit more active and constructive, you'd think I'd be really freaking tired, right?

Right. Oh baby, the insomnia is so gone, and I am so tired. I can hear the fireworks, and I can't even get myself excited enough to run outside ...
So, I slept a good nine hours Sunday night, and seven hours last night ...
And for some reason, now, Independence Day, the Fourth of July, all day have I slept, all night have I slept, and I am so tired, I'm probably going to sleep the rest of this night ... I've been trying to get to Club Congress for the past few days to pick up tickets for the Minibosses, but I am so darn tired! Hopefully this will be the only day like that, but I don't know for sure ...
(And happy Independence Day everyone! I defend my right to call it happy because it wouldn't have been so happy if it wasn't an independence, right? Right? Well, who knows? Do you really want to ask the unasked question now, mr bigshot "patriot"?! Ha! So Happy 4th! It's how (I assume) our forefathers would've wanted us to celebrate!)