Friday, October 15, 2004

Rambling away !

My job is awesome, taking on new dimensions that, of course, can be added to the skill sheet and portfolio, to sum it up arrogantly .

I'm working on three new sites, y'all. Bear with me. And all three will have different domains.
Right now I'm trying to figure out a good domain name for a computer technician/skills trainer. Leave a comment if you have suggestions.

Well, I recently went to a sorority party... freakin precursor to an orgy.
I didn't mean to be a wall-flower. Something in me revolted and pulled me away from the crowd.

College has constantly reminded me that my images of myself are just images. Anything on which I base my self-image or self-esteem are bogus, and can/will be stripped away.

I could, however, base it on virtues, but I will not pride myself on what I don't yet have :-D

I could base it on a commitment to always be better than I was before, to enhance and improve... But that's always been there. No need to dote upon something so given this.

I could just say fuck it, and attempt to eradicate such thoughts from my life -- to separate myself from my notions of self-image. I may be in a good position to do so now, since I feel no sense of haughtiness or elitism for doing so, as I might've been when I was younger ... thus still trapping myself in my own images.

This would mean that I can no longer treat any of my "abilities" as "me". My writing ability, my climbing ability, my sense of story-telling, my sense of style, my music, my programming style, even my own intelligence are all things that are better than some, worse than others, and should not be taken as a true sense of who I am. All must be respected for what it is: a gift that must be properly nourished and cared for. Even my family, my heritage, my future girlfriend(s), wife, kids (should I choose the path of relationship). They are not an ideal to maintain, not a dream or goal. I will not worry about what else could possibly be left to define me. Obviously there is something here to think and act. But if I were to get Alzheimer's, even my rational thinking and memories would disappear.

All in all, why worry ? Live well, do what you can, make your life easier, and ease the lives of others. Always in a productive manner, tho :-D We don't want to help the evasion of consequences. It's a good motto. Like all aphorisms, it breaks down at some point, but I'm not worried about changing it.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Note to self: When trying out something new, no binging. Thus ends my recent adventures in pipes and cigars ... well ... smoking in general, for a very, very long time. At least until I heal. :-p

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Playing cards, cigars, pipes, alcohol ... one could get used to this.

It's all Mike2's fault.